Here it is, as promised, my running diary of the 2009 NFC Championship Game between my Arizona Cardinals and the Philadelphia Eagles. The Cardinals have never lost a playoff game at home. Hopefully they'll keep it alive.
12:49 PM – Frank Caliendo does his impression for “Frank’s Pick” this week. The saddest part about the impression was that I couldn’t tell who he was supposed to be (Jack Nicholson) until my wife told me near the end. That was the worst impression by a TV comic that I’ve ever seen. MY Jack Nicholson impression isn’t all that good, but it’s still better than Caliendo’s. I really REALLY don’t like him. Can we say overrated? At least he picks the Cardinals to win.
12:51 PM – Frank Caliendo and Terry Bradshaw pick the Cardinals to win, while Michael Strahan, Howie Long, and Jimmy Johnson pick the Eagles to win. All five pick the Steelers to win the AFC. Jimmy Johnson picks the Eagles to win the Super Bowl and the other four pick the Steelers to win the Super Bowl. Keep giving the Cardinals bulletin board material, guys!
12:54 PM – Welcome to Glendale! The stands are one giant area of red. The fans are going NUTS! I can’t imagine how loud it is in there. Wish I was there!
12:58 PM – The Cardinals bust out hometown hero Jordin Sparks to sing the Star-Spangled Banner, along with a football-field-sized flag. Jordin is wearing a beautiful red dress. Her rendition gives me goosebumps. I especially liked her jumps at the end with one hand raised. Joe Buck upon completion: “Wow. What a beautiful rendition . . . of “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
1:04 PM – Pam Oliver tells Kurt Warner that his teammates mostly “don’t have a clue.”
1:05 PM – Eagles kicker David Akers boots the kickoff into the end zone for a touchback. Troy Aikman says that the Cardinals’ “best games of the season have been in the playoffs.” What is the over-under on Aikman’s saying, “You’re exactly right, Joe?” I put it at four.
1:07 PM – On third and 1, the Eagles blitz, and Warner finds Fitz over the middle for a 19 yard gain! First down! On the ensuing play, Boldin gains nine on a screen.
1:09 PM – Here are the last three plays: James carries for three on second and one for a first down, James to the left side for a 16 yard gain and a first down, up the gut for an 11 yard gain and a first down. He gets subbed for one play for a quick breather.
1:11 PM – Second and six from the nine. Warner passes over the middle to Fitz who breaks a few tackles and spins into the end zone for a TOUCHDOWN!!!!! Rackers boots the extra point home for a 7-0 lead!
1:13 PM – Great Subway commercial set to the tune of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” just aired. It showed people eating fast food burgers as their pants buttons flew off and crashed into things, followed by split pants and benches crashing.
1:15 PM – And then Rackers inexplicably boots the kickoff out of bounds at the one yard line for the first time this season, giving the Eagles the ball at their own 40. Did the Carolina Panthers smuggle their kicker into our stadium?
1:18 PM – Have I mentioned how much I hate the NFL’s commercial formula around kickoffs? On the first play, a penalty flag flies at the snap, followed by the Cardinals blowing a sack and McNabb scrambling for a 22 yard gain. The penalty would have been offside. This is NOT how you keep momentum going, gentlemen. Come on.
1:19 PM – On second and six, McNabb play fakes to Westbrook and then throws a swing pass. Adrian Wilson flattens the receiver as soon as it’s caught for a one yard loss. Then on the next play, the Cardinals give McNabb six seconds to throw and he completes it for a first down. Sheesh! Inexcusable!
1:23 PM – After a false start, the Eagles face a third and nine from their own 28. The Cardinals bring the heat and deflect McNabb’s pass, which brings out David “My field goal range is only 45 yards at best” Akers for a 45 yard field goal attempt. Fox flashes a graphic that says he’s made 18 straight postseason field goals, which is an NFL record. Wow.
1:24 PM – Akers extends his record to 19 straight and cuts the Cards’ lead to 7-3. The ensuing kickoff is run to the 24.
1:34 PM – The Cardinals go three and out after Fitzgerald comes up just short of the first down marker on third and nine. After that, Warner goes and has some words with O-Coordinator Todd Haley. Is Warner hungry for another Super Bowl? Hmmmm.
1:39 PM – McNabb’s third down pass is deflected high into the air and INTERCEPTED BY AARON FRANCISCO!!!! He runs it back for about 20 yards and then he’s stripped by DeSean Jackson, and the Eagles fall on it. The replay shows that Francisco wasn’t protecting the ball. My wife then demonstrates the proper technique for carrying a football. MY WIFE knows better how to carry a ball on an INT return than an NFL player? Huh?
1:41 PM – The first quarter ends with the Cardinals ahead 7-3 and the Eagles driving.
1:42 PM – Another UPS commercial airs with that goofy looking fool who needs a haircut. I’m telling you! USE THE POSTAL SERVICE! They’ll get it there faster, more securely, and for less money.
1:45 PM – After Tom Selleck’s long lost relative who forgot how to spell his name (Ben Celek) tries to hurdle someone and falls way short of a first down, David “45 yards or less” Akers misses a 47 yard field goal attempt and ends his streak at 19.
1:48 PM – On the first play from scrimmage, Warner tosses to Arrington, who turns and throws a backward pass back to Warner, who fires it DEEP TO LARRY FITZGERALD WHO CATCHES IT AND SCORES A 62 YARD TOUCHDOWN!!!!! The Eagles get tagged with roughing the passer, which will be enforced on the kickoff! Rackers boots the extra point home for a 14-3 lead! YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
1:51 PM – Since the last Cardinals championship, there have been 11 (soon to be 12) presidents, 1203 Cardinals players, and nearly 18 million fans have attended Cardinals home games. Thanks for pointing that out, Fox.
1:54 PM – Me before the Eagles run their third and one play: “If they don’t run the ball here, they’re stupid.” Then McNabb play-fakes to Brian Westbrook and gets sacked. Except there’s a flag. And they call holding on Cards DE Antonio Smith for tackling Westbrook. One problem with that: Westbrook was faking like he had the ball. The rulebook specifically states that as an exception to the defensive holding rule! Furthermore, Westbrook got up and angrily shoved Smith! Why wasn’t a flag thrown there? On the next play, Kevin Curtis busts a HUGE gain, and three plays later Akers boots a chip-shot 33 yard field goal through the uprights to cut the lead to 14-6.
1:58 PM – My wife and I howl as the camera shows an Eagles lineman taking oxygen. Is the elevation too much for you, buddy? You sure you can survive Glendale’s towering elevation of 1000 feet above sea level?
2:03 PM – After a nice runback by J.J. Arrington, the Cardinals start with the ball at their own 27 yard line, first and ten. On the first play, Warner stumbles as he hands the ball to Edgerrin James, who runs it straight ahead for a 22 yard gain! First down at their own 49! Woo hoo!
2:05 PM – Sign in stands: Cartoon of Rodney Dangerfield wearing a Cardinals necktie and the gopher from Caddyshack in the background with the following caption: “NFL on FOX. NFC CHAMPIONSHIP AND WE STILL CAN’T GET NO RESPECT.” Well put.
2:06 PM – Warner sidesteps a potential sack and then hits Arrington who is WIDE OPEN out of the backfield and then jets to the Eagles’ 29 for a first down. He looked like he got shot out of a CANNON!
2:07 PM – Joe Buck tells us that Warner is 7-2 in the postseason and undefeated at home. That’s a useful stat! Why didn’t Fox mention that one sooner?
2:09 PM – My wife is beside herself when I tell her that the “fat guy with a beard” on the Eagles sideline is their head coach. She can’t believe it.
2:11 PM – Asante Samuel can’t believe he got called for pass interference when he knocks Larry Fitzgerald down well before the ball gets to Larry. All of the other 70,000 people in the stadium agree with the call, though.
2:12 PM – On the next play, Larry catches a corner route from Kurt for another TOUCHDOWN!!!!!! Rackers boots home the PAT for a 21-6 lead. Actual text from my friend Alan, who is a Steeler fan: “You’d think the Eagles would attempt to cover him.” The thing is, the Eagles ARE attempting to cover him! He’s just that good! And Larry just set a postseason record for most touchdowns in a half in a conference championship game!
2:16 PM – Strange play as a kickoff apparently touches the Eagles player inbounds and then lands close to the sideline, where a Cardinal falls on it. The referee says that the ball was touched and then went out of bounds. Then the referee wusses out and says the ball landed out of bounds and it’s unreviewable! WEAK! The point of replay is to get the call right. Why not use it? Why avoid looking at it with a bailout call like that?
2:23 PM – On the Eagles’ first play, McNabb throws to NO ONE to keep from getting sacked. The ensuing grounding call makes it second and 22. The ensuing plays go close to nowhere and the Eagles punt. Cards get the ball at their own 15 with 1:31 left in the quarter.
2:26 PM – After a completion to Boldin, Quentin Demps hits Warner with an absolutely bush league late hit. Total cheap shot. Uncalled for. Inexplicably, he is NOT ejected. That baffles me.
2:30 PM – Boldin makes a circus-like diving catch and then rolls to his feet and keeps moving. 32 yard gain. Replays show that the ball clearly hit the ground. The booth reviews it and overturns the play.
2:34 PM – Larry makes another grab across the middle while WIDE OPEN and then jets out of bounds (at the opposite sideline) after a 12 yard gain. This guy is REALLY REALLY good. The Eagles have almost no answer for Fitz.
2:36 PM – Nice play by Boldin to get to the 32 yard line and immediately call time out. Here comes Rackers for a 49 yarder . . .
2:37 PM – . . . which he boots through the uprights to extend the lead to 24-6 at halftime! What a half for the Cardinals!
2:43 PM – The Fox studio guys are singing the Cardinals’ praises. My wife just asked the TV screen how the crow tastes.
2:51 PM – The second half starts with Rackers pooch-kicking one. Corell Buckhalter returns it to the Eagles’ 39.
2:53 PM – McNabb goes back to pass and is swarmed by the Cardinals. Somehow, and after a hold that DOES get called, McNabb eludes four tackles and gets a pass away to his fullback, who sprints for a 20 yard gain that goes all for naught.
2:54 PM – Two plays and two nice catches later, the Eagles get a first down.
2:56 PM – McNabb drops back to pass and never sees Adrian Wilson sprinting from his blind side. Wilson unloads on McNabb, who fumbles. Bertrand Berry falls on the loose ball and the Cardinals take over.
3:02 PM – Warner gets hit as he throws on third down, which causes his pass to sail just over the head of a WIDE OPEN Anquan Boldin. Oh man. That could have been the nail in the coffin for the Eagles.
3:06 PM – Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie just showed his talent as he keeps DeSean Jackson from catching a high ball. He leaps high into the air and tips the ball away at the last minute.
3:09 PM – Adrian Wilson sacks McNabb again! Bertrand Berry nearly had him and then Wilson got him! Second and 19 from the Eagles’ 30!
3:10 PM – Doggonit! Kevin Curtis makes a nice 50 yard catch on a deep ball on third and 19. First and ten from the 20 for the Eagles.
3:13 PM – . . . aaaaand McNabb throws a short TD pass to Celek. Akers nails the PAT to make it 24-13, but there is a flag. Rodgers-Cromartie ran into the kicker.
3:17 PM – What is it with kickers kicking the ball out of bounds today? Akers just kicked one out of bounds and gave the Cardinals the ball at their own 35.
3:21 PM – Now the Cardinals go three and out quickly. Victor Abiamiri sacked Warner on third down after two incomplete passes. Guys, don’t start. JUGGULAR. GO FOR THE JUGGULAR!!!!!!
3:26 PM – COME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! The Cardinals allowed the Eagles to convert ANOTHER third and long! DO NOT LET THEM BACK IN THIS GAME!
3:29 PM – START COVERING CELEK BETTER THAN THIS! This is ridiculous! The Cards just gave up a JUNK touchdown on a 31 yard play marred by missed tackles and Hank Baskett blocking two Cardinal defenders. Fortunately, Akers shanked the extra point.
3:32 PM – That’s better. Edge runs off a three yard gain on first down. The quarter ends with Warner catching his own blocked pass and running for a four yard gain.
3:36 PM – Great way to start the fourth quarter on third and three. Good. GOOOOOOOOD. Edgerrin James catches a 16 yard swing pass-and-run for a first down. On the next play, he gains six.
3:38 PM – What is going on here? Third and five goes to waste as Warner’s pass misses all targets. Eagles call fair catch and get the ball back on their own 10.
3:43 PM – The Eagles have two first downs on this drive already. That makes it 11-1 in the first down department for the Eagles this half.
3:44 PM – NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck? McNabb just threw a bomb to DeSean Jackson that is caught. Rodgers-Cromartie falls down, and the Eagles score a touchdown to go up 25-24. The two point conversion pass is incomplete. With 10:45 left, the Cardinals have officially blown their lead. The 18 point lead has evaporated in just over eight minutes of game time.
3:50 PM – Now they’re moving the ball again. But it’s third and one, and James just got stuffed on second and one. On third and one, Hightower falls just short. And the Cards are going for it.
3:52 PM – And Hightower converts on a sweep around the right end! WHEW! On the replay, Troy Aikman wisely states that an Eagle defender would have tackled Hightower had he not been blocked. That’s like saying, “I would have beaten that video game if I hadn’t died.” What a genius. (Rolls eyes)
3:55 PM – Two plays later, Fitz gains HUGE yards on a nice pass reception. Boldin, meanwhile, lashes out at o-coordinator Todd Haley. On the replay, we clearly see Haley yelling at Boldin either, “Don’t call me that” or “Don’t tell me that.” Either way, that doesn’t make Boldin look good. On the next play, Fitzgerald leaps high to make a nine yard gain. Then, Hightower makes a nice run to gain a first and goal from the nine.
3:58 PM – It’s now third and goal from the eight as the Eagles call timeout.
4:00 PM – Screen pass to Hightower. Go! GO! TOUCHDOWN!!!! And Ben Patrick catches the pass for the two point conversion! HUGE HUGE HUGE PLAY!
4:02 PM – And my excitement gets spoiled with another stupid UPS whiteboard commercial, this time with TWO of that goofy looking guy who still needs a haircut. Lose the gimmick! It’s dumb! Plus, the United States Postal Service will outdo you in shipping any day of the week!
4:04 PM – OK, defense. Step it up here and stop them so we can finish this up. NO OVERTIME!
4:05 PM – First down play: McNabb has all day to throw, but Westbrook drops it as he gets LIT UP by Antrel Rolle, who is due for an INT and huge return.
4:06 PM – After a nine yard gain to make it third and one, Celek makes another catch to get a first down. Then, Westbrook catches one out of the backfield, gains 19, and goes out of bounds. DON’T BLOW THIS!
4:08 PM – McNabb throws wide on first down. Incomplete. On the next play, McNabb overthrows Jackson, who was open. Rodgers-Cromartie is having trouble. . .
4:09 PM – McNABB THROWS BEHIND BASKETT ON THIRD DOWN! Two minute warning, and it’s fourth and ten for the Eagles.
4:12 PM – After the two-minute-warning, McNabb throws behind Kevin Curtis and IT’S INCOMPLETE! CARDS TAKE OVER ON DOWNS WITH 1:51 LEFT!
4:13 PM – Hightower runs for six yards on first down and the Eagles spend their final timeout! 1:43 away from paydirt!
4:14 PM – Clock stops with 1:29 left for a measurement. Hightower’s second down run was short by a couple of feet. Third and under a yard! So close!
4:15 PM – Cards take a timeout with 59 seconds left. One more first down, and it’ll clinch it. I just checked to make sure I still have a pulse.
4:16 PM – Hightower slips and loses two yards. Come on. Don’t do this to me. . .
4:18 PM – Cards call a timeout with 15 seconds left. Here comes the punter . . .
4:18 PM, Part 2 – . . . and the punt goes out of bounds at the five with 9 seconds left! Is it happening?
4:19 PM – The Hail Mary formation comes onto the field. Eagles run a rugby-style play, and the third backward pass is INTERCEPTED BY DARNELL DOCKETT! CARDINALS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! THE CARDINALS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! THE SUPER BOWL! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
4:24 PM – I’m still crying tears of joy. THE CARDINALS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! My wife and I just sang “We Are the Champions” with the stadium. Holy cow, THE CARDINALS ARE IN THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish Dad were alive to see this. THE SUPER BOWL!
4:27 PM – My wife gets out the Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider (we don’t drink). I’d take a whole case of Martinelli’s right now, because THE CARDINALS ARE IN THE SUPER BOWL!
I’ll add more after the postgame. I’m off to enjoy this. WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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