A Punch in the Stomach

Super Bowl XLIII Running Diary

4 PM – We are live from my in-laws' house! My brother-in-law's stepdad has been a Cardinals fan since they were in St. Louis. He is one of the only – if not the only – people I've met who have liked this team longer than I have. We'll call him Rich. He will be referred to during this game quite a bit.

4:08 PM – The Steelers take the field as the whole room jeers. I'm going to have fun one way or the other.

4:10 PM – The Cardinals take the field to thunderous applause from the room. Rich: "I don't see Travis LaBoy." I frown.

4:11 PM – The commercial where LeBron James signs with the Cleveland Browns airs for the 526th time in the last week. Rich says what we're all thinking: "This commercial is so stupid." Agreed.

4:12 PM – I send my niece to get me a Dr. Pepper.

4:14 PM – They announce the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award finalists. The winner had better be Kurt Warner. And it is! YES!

4:15 PM – Faith Hill (the Beautiful) tears it up on "America the Beautiful." The last time she sang anything at a Super Bowl was when she did "The Star-Spangled Banner" before Super Bowl XXXIV in Atlanta. That was also the last time Kurt Warner won a Super Bowl. (I just knocked on wood.)

4:17 PM – The crew from U.S. Airways Flight 1549 walked onto the field to a heroes' welcome. Those guys rock. Anyone who can land a plane on the Hudson the way he did. . .

4:18 PM – Jennifer Hudson sings "The Star-Spangled Banner." I think she's starting too high. She's singing it in Bb. That high F is going to be a major MAJOR warble.

4:19 PM – Here comes the moment of truth . . . and the high F is flat. Painfully flat. Jordan Sparks whooped up on her.

4:20 PM – Rich, after another flat series of notes by Jennifer Hudson: "Those notes aren't even in the song."

4:22 PM – Hudson just plain butchered the vocals. The orchestra nailed it, but she butchered it. The last note was okay . . . but the rest of the song was mediocre at best.

4:25 PM – The final breakdown, with Al Michaels and John Madden. Madden is raving about the Cardinals' high-flying passing attack and warns the Birds to avoid being one-dimensional. He also says that the Cardinals are going to go after Big Ben and try to bang him up.

4:26 PM – Nice coin toss lineup. Lynn Swann, Roger Craig, John "Horseface" Elway, and General Petraeus. Arizona won the toss and deferred to the second half, so the Cardinals will kick off.

4:29 PM – Sideline reporters are rambling on and on and on. I really don't care about what they said, so I'm not printing it.

4:30 PM – My nephew is bringing me my pretzels.

4:31 PM – Rackers kicks off to Russell, who returned it to the 26, and Rackers, the hard-nosed kicker he is, is in on the tackle.

4:32 PM – Willie Parker runs up the gut for three yards on the first play of the game.

4:33 PM – Blown coverage! Rod Hood! Come on! Hines Ward was WIDE OPEN. Huge gain to the Cards' 32 yard line.

4:34 PM – Now Parker runs a sweep left and turns what should have been no gain into a nine yard gain. I also just found out that the Cards have allowed 46 touchdowns this year, most ever by a Super Bowl participant. And the Steelers got another first down on a short gain.

4:35 PM – Pass over the middle to Heath Miller gets the Steelers to the 1. Roethlisberger got flattened, too.

4:36 PM – Steelers FB Russell gets wrapped up for a loss by Antonio Smith! On the next play, Parker gets back to the 1.

4:37 PM – Roethlisberger scores a TD on a scramble that Whisenhunt challenges. Two things wrong with that play: number one, the Steelers' guard wrapped Ben up and drug him into the end zone, but two, Ben's knee was down before crossing. I didn't even notice number two because I was too busy griping about the helping the runner penalty that wasn't called. Once the commercial break is over, we'll know the outcome.

4:41 PM – Whiz was correct. Fourth and goal from the 1, and Tomlin sends Jeff Reed out to kick the chip-shot field goal. Watch for the fake. . .

4:42PM – Reed boots the 19-yarder through the uprights. The next commercial involves some lousy vocals but hilarious dancing. By the way, NBC hasn't shown this – and I doubt they will – but the 19-yarder is not even close to the shortest field goal in Super Bowl history. That record can't be broken unless they change a rule, for the record is 9 yards, and that was before they moved the goalposts back in 1974. Hilarious Doritos commercial in the meantime.

4:45 PM – J.J. Arrington takes the kickoff to the 25, and on first down, Edgerrin James pounds it up the middle for a short gain.

4:46 PM – And then Warner zips one to a leaping Steve Breaston who gets tattooed, but gets a first down.

4:49 PM – After a penalty and a fumble that James recovers, James pounds one for three, and then Warner and Boldin fail to connect. Ben Graham – the first Australian to ever play in a Super Bowl – comes out and booms a nice punt that the Steelers return for one yard to the 31.

4:51 PM – This Conan O'Brian Bud Light commercial is disturbing. The Jack Black film Year One looks pretty funny though.

4:53 PM – Big Ben finds Santonio Holmes on a quick screen for a 25 yard gain. The Steelers are doing whatever they want on offense right now. Step it up, D!

4:54 PM – THIS IS WHY WE DRAFTED DOMINIQUE ROGERS-CROMARTIE! He nearly picked it off in spectacular, leaping fashion, right after I had said that Ben R. would throw a pick. 'Nique nearly made me a prophet.

4:56 PM – Antonio Smith jumped the snap early, but the right guard moved, thankfully.

4:57 PM – WHAT THE HECK DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO SACK ROETHLISBERGER?!??? 13 yard gain after what should have been a sack.

4:58 PM – The Cards get Parker in the backfield for a one yard loss but should have smacked him for a four yard loss. They're over-pursuing. They need to settle down and stay in their gaps. Right as I'm typing this, the Steelers hit Heath Miller over the middle for another first down.

4:59 PM – Willie Parker snaps off an eight yard gain to make the offensive stats 131-13 in total yards, in Pittsburgh's favor.

5 PM – The first quarter mercifully ends with the Steelers up 3-0. The Cardinals haven't shown up yet. Maybe they will in this quarter. In an unrelated note, I loved the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head Bridgestone tire commercial. I also am a big fan of Snyder's of Hanover's Buttermilk Ranch flavored Pretzel Bites.

5:03 PM – The Cardinals stuffed a Heath Miller catch-and-run at the 3 yard line. Then Hines Ward comes in and attempts yet another Hines Ward Cheap Shot, which starts a nice pushing and shoving match. During the timeout, we see a preview of the next Will Ferrell flick, The Land of the Lost. It looks entertaining.

5:07 PM – Third and goal from the two. Parker runs up the gut. Touchdown, Steelers, and Reed barely hits the extra point for a 10-0 lead. The Cards MUST SCORE here and then get a stop.

5:09 PM – Nice Pepsi Max commercial with some excellent slapstick comedy, followed by a funny Pedigree commercial that involves an ostrich and a funny Bud commercial where a Clydesdale fetches a tree limb.

5:10 PM – Back to the game, where the Steelers have had the ball for 12 minutes to 3 minutes for the Cards, and the Steelers are outgaining the Cards 141-13. My shoulder is sore and now my neck is starting to hurt. I am starting to feel sick.

5:13 PM – Leonard Pope just dropped a pass on first and ten. On second down, Edge catches a pass out of the backfield and gets a first down.

5:16 PM – Nice leaping catch near the sideline by Steve Breaston nets another first down.

5:17 PM – James catches a swing pass out of the backfield and jukes Troy Polamalu out of his socks for yet another first down. And then on the ensuing play, as Hightower gets a slight gain on a run, yet another hold sets the Cards back.

5:19 PM – Breaston gains 13 yards on the next play on a nice pass by Warner. Second and seven.

5:20 PM – BOLDIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 45 YARD GAIN ON A BEAUTIFUL CATCH AND RUN! Warner had all day in the backfield and found Boldin WIDE OPEN. Boldin streaked down the sideline and got a beautiful block from Fitz. First and goal from the one!

5:21 PM – BEN PATRICK MAKES A REMARKABLE FITZGERALDESQUE CATCH IN THE END ZONE! TOUCHDOWN! Rackers tacks on the extra point to cut the Steelers' lead to 10-7. Meanwhile, my wife and Rich's wife are making fun of our excitement.

5:24 PM – NBC points out how many times Warner has had his feet tangled up with his linemen's feet during the playoffs. Madden and Michaels then describe how improbable this matchup is. I thought it would be Tennessee and the Giants, myself. Meanwhile, Parker runs another one for a first down. On the next play, 'Nique drops another potential interception. Rich: "He's gettin' one tonight." After that, Karlos Dansby tackles Parker in the backfield on a screen pass for a loss.

5:27 PM – As Roethlisberger scrambles and finds Holmes open for a first down, the Steelers get hit with an obvious hold. You can't strangle Darnell Dockett and get away with it. Then Dockett encroaches. Third and 17.

5:30 PM – Breaston returns the punt 42 yards to the 43! I thought we were going to see the first-ever punt return for a touchdown in a Super Bowl. Had he made it past that last guy, we would have.

5:33 PM – I got excited after James ran a six yard play on first down. Then Edge got called for an unwise chop block (you can't hit a guy low if your teammate is already blocking him), and then Warner got sacked. . . next thing I know, it's third and 22. Cards take a timeout.

5:36 PM – Warner from the gun throws BEHIND James, and then he dropped it. Graham in to punt. A Steeler turnover here would be really nice.

5:37 PM – GREAT punt coverage by Michael Adams! (My brother-in-law: "Who?") Holmes catches the ball at the 11, where Adams immediately wraps him up.

5:40 PM – We're looking forward to seeing The Boss perform at halftime, but back to the game. And LaBoy is playing, because he almost took the handoff just now. Second and six, Ben R.'s pass gets TIPPED BY ROBINSON, and the jump ball is INTERCEPTED BY DANSBY!!!!!! That was the first turnover of the game, and now it's first and ten for the Cards at the Steelers' 35.

5:44 PM – Warner just overthrew Fitz on second down. My bro-in-law: "How hard is it to overthrow Fitzgerald?!??"

5:45 PM – Tim Hightower catches a swing pass out of the backfield, jukes Ike Taylor, and gets a HUGE first down at the 25. Timeout.

5:46 PM – Chester Cheetah!!!!!!!

5:47 PM – And now Fitzgerald has a catch! Pass up the middle is caught for another first down at the 13.

5:48 PM – Warner's Passer Rating in the Red Zone this postseason is 131.0.

5:49 PM – Boldin is hands down the TOUGHEST man in the league. He caught a tough catch-and-get-decked at the five, and then caught another one and fought for a first and goal at the two.

5:51 PM – ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? A 100-yard interception return by James Harrison?!??? Boldin FOR SURE was going to catch that, except Harrison jumped the route. The booth is looking at this again. This review is taking forever. Harrison was down before crossing the goal line. I don't care if he landed on Fitzgerald. He's down. Fitzgerald was lying on the ground and that's what prevented Harrison from being down. Ridiculous.  That rule needs to change.

5:55 PM – And they give him the touchdown. Such bull. 17-7 Steelers on a nonsense play.

5:59 PM – Those three 3D commercials were COOL.

6:01 PM – I can't express how frustrated I am.

• The Steelers were offside.
  
• Warner made a rare mistake.
  
• Hightower got blocked in the back on the return, which prevented him from having the opportunity to make the tackle.
  
• And that rule that kept Harrison from being down is DUMB.
  

6:25 PM – The Cardinals seem to have more talent than the Steelers, but the Steelers are getting almost all of the breaks.

6:30 PM – This is an important drive for the Cardinals. They need to score a TD on this drive BADLY. And after Boldin's catch on first down, he comes off of the field holding his shoulder. Then James runs one for a first down.

6:31 PM – James runs again for seven, and then again for three and a first down. Now Boldin returns to the field.

6:33 PM – They keep playing a riff from the Rolling Stones' "Start Me Up" when they show player profiles.

6:34 PM – Edgerrin James is doing a pretty good job so far this half.

6:35 PM – These officials are not doing a good job. That was a blatantly obvious pass that they just ruled a fumble. Thank God that Sense and Sanity prevailed on that replay.

6:43 PM – Where was that facemask? I didn't see it. Wait. There it is. Rookie mistake by Cromartie.

6:46 PM – And the Cardinals just gave up a third down conversion.

6:47 PM – THAT WAS A HORRIBLE CALL!!! First off, the Steelers blocked Dockett in the back illegally. Secondly, that was intentional grounding. Third, there is NO WAY that was roughing the passer. NONE. Seahawks fans, I understand your frustration from Super Bowl XL.  (After the replay, we see that Ben R. WAS out of the tackle box, so it couldn't have been grounding.  I stand corrected on that one.  But I mantain my other two points.)

6:51 PM – Momentum is clearly in the Steelers' favor. So is the officiating. There was holding right in front of the referee that he let go. And now a penalty on Wilson for roughing the holder that was actually correct. On a related note, Al Michaels made a veiled reference to Super Bowl XL and that officiating.

6:54 PM – The Cards stuffed them on first down. And then on second down Rolle ALMOST HAS AN INTERCEPTION!!!! D'OH!

6:56 PM – Good. They stuffed Roethlisberger on third and goal. When the Steelers lineman fell down, I was expecting the officials to call a personal foul on the ground for tripping him and then give the Steelers another first down.

7 PM – Nice Coke commercial. And a BROWNS fan is texting me to taunt me. I think that a fan of a team (actually, of every team in that city) that hasn't done anything in the postseason since 1964 – except choke in glorious fashion – should know to keep his mouth shut.

7:02 PM – The Cards need a touchdown NOW. Meanwhile, James is still playing well.

7:03 PM – Boldin catches another pass. He is having a decent game.

7:04 PM – I'm starting to get annoyed. And there are annoying kids in the room where I'm watching the game, which is really making it worse for me. Meanwhile, the fourth quarter is rolling around, and the Cards are down 13. Turn it on.

7:08 PM – A first down play for the Cardinals is predictably called back for holding.

7:09 PM – And on third and 13, the Cardinals come up short again. Jeez.

7:13 PM – That was a pretty weak defensive hold on Roderick Hood. These officials may as well put on Steelers jerseys. This is ridiculous.

7:14 PM – The Cards stuffed Parker on second and five. My brother-in-law just asked where the flag was.

7:15 PM – Darnell Dockett sacks Roethlisberger for a huge loss. And they don't call roughing the passer, because that would be a dead giveaway that the game is not on the level. The ensuing punt is caught by Breaston, who immediately gets CREAMED.

7:17 PM – Nice redo of the classic Coke commercial involving Mean Joe Greene, this time with Troy Polamalu. Very funny.

7:19 PM – This is the Kurt Warner we know and love. Four consecutive passes for first downs have the Cardinals marching downfield like men possessed.

7:20 PM – Five in a row. And the Steelers finally get called for a penalty, which is declined.

7:21 PM – Six in a row. Second and goal at the five. Timeout Cardinals.

7:24 PM – Seven in a row. Third and goal from the 1. FITZGERALD MAKES ANOTHER LEAPING OVER-THE-OPPONENT'S HEAD CATCH FOR A TOUCHDOWN! Rackers tacks on the extra point to cut the lead to 20-14!

7:27 PM – Al Michaels tried to compare that last catch to David Tyree's play in last year's Super Bowl. No way. Fitz does these on a regular basis. Tyree couldn't do that play from last year again if you held a gun to his head.

7:30 PM – ANOTHER SACK BY DOCKETT! Even though he was being held, Dockett still pulls off the sack. If the Cards come back and take this game, Dockett has to be heavily considered for MVP. He has been a beast.

7:33 PM – Nice – yet silly – commercial by Pepsi that was a knockoff of MacGyver that guest starred Richard Dean Anderson.

7:34 PM – 5:28 left as the drive begins. This is a good time to mention that the only other pro championship for the state of Arizona was on a comeback. Boldin, meanwhile, makes a nice catch for a first down, and then Pittsburgh gets hit with unnecessary roughness for their first penalty of the second half.  With 5:28 left in the fourth quarter, no less.

7:36 PM – On the ensuing play, Breaston makes another great catch-and-run.

7:38 PM – Two bad passes nearly were intercepted. Third and 20 for the Cards. Weird pass flutters harmlessly to the ground.

7:39 PM – Great punt-and-down by the Cardinals. The ball is now on the one-half yardline. Why the heck was Harrison not thrown out for that cheap shot? Uncalled for.

7:41 PM – NEARLY a safety. SO CLOSE.

7:44 PM – ARE YOU SERIOUS? Another first down on third and long?!??  WAIT A MINUTE! HOLDING IN THE END ZONE! Takedowns have to be called all the time. Nice! 20-16 Steelers now.

7:46 PM – Breaston fields the ensuing free kick and gets downed at the 35.

7:47 PM – Second and ten, FITZ IS OPEN OVER THE MIDDLE IN STRIDE AND IS GONE!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!! The whole room just erupted into wild screaming! THIS IS AWESOME! HOLY AFSHHGKJAHAGKJHADSKJJDKLASHKL!!!!!!!!!!!!! 23-20 Cardinals after the PAT!!!!

7:50 PM – 2:30 left in the game. This is where the Arizona defense has to step it up one more time! Come on guys!

7:51 PM – Holding on Pittsburgh, first and 20 with 2:24 left.

7:52 PM – Pitt got away with another hold on Dockett, and then Ben R. makes an amazing pass for a first down. Right before the two minute warning, R. tries for another long bomb, and Aaron Francisco makes a nice play to knock the pass down. I'm getting lightheaded here.

7:54 PM – My brother: "Steelers fans CANNOT complain about bad officiating on that last play, given what has happened the rest of the night."  Well put.

7:55 PM – Santonio Holmes makes a nice catch to get the first down. 1:33 left.

7:56 PM – Another first down for Pitt, but the receiver is kept inbounds. Nice play by Wilson. On the next play, Ben R. scrambles for a one yard gain and the Steelers call timeout.

7:57 PM – FRANCISCO FELL DOWN! After a 40 yard catch-and-run by Santonio Holmes, Pittsburgh has first and goal from the six. COME ON!!!!!!!

7:59 PM – Ben R. throws the first down pass over Santonio Holmes' head. Homes' leaping attempt comes up short. Holmes, you are not Larry Fitzgerald.

8:00 PM – And then Holmes shuts me up by making an absolutely amazing catch while falling down to put Pittsburgh ahead 26-23, the replay upholds the call, and then Reed tacks on the extra point to put the Steelers up 27-23. 35 seconds left for some magic.

8:04 PM – Arrington returns the kick to the 22 yard line.

8:05 PM – Nice catch by Fitzgerald for a first down! 22 seconds left after a timeout by the Cards. I'm starting to get a bad feeling.

8:06 PM – Arrington makes a catch over the middle and then the Cards use their final timeout. 15 seconds left. Please?

8:08 PM – THAT WAS AN INCOMPLETE PASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you call THAT a fumble?!??

8:09 PM – Without a review on the play, the Steelers get the ball and take a knee to run out the clock. This has to have been the most poorly officiated championship game that I have ever seen in any sport.  Why didn't they review that play?  What's the point of having replay?

Final thoughts

I am embarrassed right now that I was a sports official for six years. That was an absolutely disgraceful performance by this officiating crew. DISGRACEFUL. I could accept this loss better if the officiating wasn't so stinking bad. I don't know what else to say. The Cardinals should keep their heads up. They played very hard and played pretty well and have nothing to be ashamed of. Final Score: Steelers and the officiating crew 27, Cardinals 23. What a kick in the groin that was.